Copyright 2026 by Governess, all rights reserved
[2,967 words]´
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ISOBEL, MARIA AND DOROTHY AND THEIR TWO BROTHERS HOWARD AND MILES PART VI
The sight of their little sister being so thoroughly spanked had a good effect on her siblings, and the rest of the
school day passed off without incident. However, both boys were poorly behaved at supper and were sent to an early bed
with a warning that they had escaped a beating only by the skin of their teeth. Both boys shared a bedroom, and I
sensed when I settled them down that there was trouble brewing. Indeed, so convinced was I that I would soon need to
discipline them that I checked the rods steeping in the schoolroom. There were three, only recently put in soak by
Bridges. I selected the heaviest and swished it through the air. Certainly, if Miles needed a birching, then this was
the rod for him. Indeed, I would have no hesitation in also using it to correct eight-year-old Howard who was a sturdy
boy and quite able to take a good flogging to straighten him out. My sixth governess’s sense that naughtiness was
about to boil over like milk in an unwatched pan was soon to be realised.
I replaced the birch in its pail and waited. Like an abscess that needs to be lanced, naughtiness should be punished
when ripe and full. After half-an-hour, during which I found it difficult to hold my eagerness in check, I made my way
to the boys' room. I listened outside and could hear low talking and movement within. I opened the door and switched
on the light. Two startled faces, shocked and guilty, stared at me .
“And what are you two children doing,” I asked in an even voice. Although I could see immediately what they had been
up to.
“Noth . . . nothing, Miss Strang.”
But the evidence was all too damning. Miles was lying on Howard’s bed with his hand inside his brother’s pyjamas.
Clearing he was inducting his younger sibling into the delights of masturbation.
“Out of bed. And off with your pyjamas both of you. Tops and bottoms. And kneel on the floor.”
They knew they were in serious trouble and hastily complied.
“So, Miles, what were you doing?”
I watched as he flushed with confusion and embarrassment and repeated the previous reply of any boy caught in
naughtiness.
“ Nothing, please, Miss Strang.”
“Stand up, Miles.”
Slowly, he did so. And I could almost smell the fear radiating from his small compact body.
“Look me in the eye, Miles and repeat that.”
“Noth . . . nothing, Miss Strang.”
I raised my right hand and slapped his left cheek as hard as I could.
“Do you want to repeat that, Miles?”
“It was nothing, Miss Strang. Truly.”
I raised my left hand and slapped his other cheek with as much force as I could muster.
“Don’t treat me like a fool, Miles. I know what boys get up to in their bedrooms. Usually they do it alone and to
themselves. But you were doing it to your brother. I turned to Howard.
“What was he doing, Howard.? And stand up when you answer me.”
“He . . . he said if he rubbed my . . . my thing, it would feel nice. So . . . so. I let him.”
“And did it feel nice?”
“Not really . . . Miss Strang.”
I nodded.
“How old are you, Howard?”
“Eight, Miss Strang.”
I turned to Miles.
“Do you know that playing with yourself is wrong, Miles. It is called masturbating. Did you know that?”
He hung his head, his face visibly hot.
“Yes, Miss Strang. Our housemaster at school warned us about it.”
“But despite those warnings you persisted. And worse were teaching your younger brother how to do it.”
You will both kneel facing the wall on opposite sides of the room, while I consider how best to deal with you.”
Of course, I knew exactly how I was going to deal with them, but making a boy wait, so his anxiety mounts by he minute
until it becomes almost insupportable is an additional discipline that both extends the punishment and increases its
intensity.
“You will remain kneeling until I return and there is to be no talking. Do you understand? I said do you understand?”
“Yes, Miss Strang.”
I went downstairs and sat for ten minutes deciding how best to handle the flogging each would be receiving. It was
clear that Miles was the chief culprit and had been introducing his brother Howard to the delights of self-abuse. But
I could not acquit Howard entirely. From what I had seen he had been fully co-operating, was offering little or no
resistance, and enjoying the sensual pleasure it afforded. For Howard, I judged a dozen cuts of the birch would
suffice. But Miles clearly needed to be given an exemplary punishment For a boy of his age, a regular birching would
comprise two dozen cut. For Miles a double birching was certainly indicated
But why, I wondered, did we hold masturbation in such disapprobation. I was sure most boys masturbated. Certainly, my
own brothers did and on more than one occasion I reported them to my mother and took great pleasure in the spanking
they received. But why should something that was so natural be so wrong? But being ‘natural’ was the very nature of
sin. As St Paul says “the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God.” Children are born in sin and
need to be restrained and guided by firm discipline. Indeed, what is more natural for a child but to lie, to be
selfish, and to disobey his mother’s and God’s law. Indeed, the more natural a behaviour the more likely it is to be
sinful and requiring correction. What is unnatural for a child is godly behaviour, and that needs to be instilled by
training and by rooting out all that opposes it.
But whereas we can see the wrong in lying and selfishness and disobedience, it is not so easy to discern what is
sinful and reprehensible about masturbation which, after all, gives a child pleasure and comfort.
First, God has given a boy a penis for two purposes: to pass water and to inseminate a female. The first is a regular
necessity; as for the second, a young child is incapable of inseminating a female and after puberty it is strictly
forbidden outside marriage. It makes sense therefore that a boy should keep his seed within his body and not excite
himself and release it to no purpose. As a post-pubertal boy starts to lust after girls, masturbation is a first step
on that slippery slope that leads to fornication. For that very reason it should be strongly discouraged. Indeed, the
earlier a boy, learns to control his desires the better. And it should be acknowledged that masturbation transforms an
act of sharing and generosity into a sinful self-indulgence, where the boy delights in his own body, and looks inward
rather than outward to other people. In short, it is to be deplored and should be deterred by the severest of
punishments.
I decided that both boys should be stripped naked, and made to walk in shame through the house to the schoolroom where
they would be flogged. And I must say I enjoyed every cut of the birch on their soft little rumps, delighting in their
writhing and screaming as they suffered for their sin. I laid on the twigs with enthusiasm. The double flogging of
Miles left his buttocks smothered in long throbbing weals and with the skin broken in places which required sponging
with surgical spirit.
Even though it was past their bedtime, I then sent them to stand in the hall for half-an-hour, with the marks of
chastisement visible for all to see. Their mother had already confided to me that she believed shaming a child for
wrongdoing was an essential element of discipline. And with this I heartily agree. Justice should not only be done,
but be seen to be done. A child’s misbehaviour affects the whole household. But that is the nature of sin. It is never
a personal matter. Sin always has consequences for others. Even childish disobedience is to be deployed for that very
reason. Some may say that a five-year-old who is instructed by his mother to put on his coat on a cold day and who
refuses is merely exercising a choice. But the truth is he is disobeying the God-given authority set over him. He is
saying, “I don't care,” despite his mother’s warnings about cold and discomfort. And when he catches a chill, she will
have to care for him, and he will become the centre of her attention at the expense of his brothers and sisters. Such
a child needs to be disciplined and made to accept his mother’s ruling and prevented from imposing his malign
determination on others.
The following evening Mr and Mrs Castlemain invited me to dine with them. I regarded this as a significant mark of
their appreciation. A governess occupies a strange position in the household hierarchy and her exact location depends
on her employer’s attitude. She may be regarded either as a mere functionary or accepted as a friend and confidant.
Already I felt a warm trust developing between myself and Mrs Castlemain. We both shared a common understanding of the
needs of the children over whose discipline I had been given a free rein,
I had yet to enjoy an extended conversation with Mr Castlemain but given the similarity between his situation and my
own father, it was something I was looking forward to. I have always been aware of the need to treat the husband of
the family with respect and to avoid any familiarity. If the children’s mother wishes to have a closer relation with
the governess that is to be welcomed. But the wife must have no grounds for suspicion or jealousy arising from the
governess relationship with the children’s father. It such an apprehension arises and is not swiftly corrected, the
governess will soon be looking for another position.
The dinner was also attended by the local vicar, Mr Colville and his wife. He acted as chaplain to the school and
served as a trustee; and Mrs Colville led the parish Mother’s Union. It was a most pleasant evening.
“Mrs Castlemain has been extolling your virtues, Miss Strang. She is delighted with your imposition of firm discipline
after the laxness of your predecessor. She has suggested that you might care to give a talk to the ladies of the
Mother’s Union.”
“Well, as I am not a mother, I’m not sure that would be appropriate”
“But as a governess, you have responsibility for bringing up children and acting on behalf of mothers. A very
important and demanding relationship. And I am certain our members would be fascinated to hear you speak about it.”
“Well, that would be a great honour, if Mrs Castlemain can spare me.”
“I am sure that would be possible, Miss Strang. It would do me good, in your absence, to remind myself of a mother’s
duties and responsibilities. Of course, you can be spared.”
I felt Mrs Colville's eyes on me, and sensed that she was eager to question me. I gave her an encouraging smile.
“Tell me, Miss Strang, do you ever feel reluctant to punish a child out of compassion for its suffering?”
“No, Mrs Colville, the compassion I feel arises from my concern for a child’s wandering in the wilderness of his
self-will. When a child wilfully departs from the way it should go, he needs to be rescued and driven back on the path
that leads to life. And for that the rod and the suffering it inflicts are the only effective remedy. Merely goading a
child with the rod only causes anger and resentment. Firms cuts on bare flesh that cause real pain are required and
the punishment should only be concluded when the will is broken and the child truly contrite. Spanking is a necessary
part of a child’s development and a competent, caring and loving mother will provide that. Quite simply, all children,
without exception, need to be spanked. Indeed, it is their right!”
Mrs Colville frowned.
“But do you think Jesus was spanked by his mother, Mary, Miss Strang? Surely not!”
“That is a question that perhaps Mr Colville is more qualified to answer than I. But let me try. Mr Colville can
always correct me if I stray into error.
“First, it is clear both from scripture and from the Councils of the Church that Jesus, the Son of God, the Second
Person of the Trinity, united his divine personhood to our nature. And if he was to redeem us in our fallen nature,
then that was the nature he took upon Himself. He suffered hunger, he got tired, he was tempted. But what does
“tempted” mean here? I suggest it means to step outside the will of his Father. To affirm his own will against his
Father’s will. But are we to extend this to cover those childish acts of will in which a child is learning the
boundaries of acceptable behaviour as a human being. I cannot believe it does. The Father’s will for His Son was that
he should develop as a man in all his fulness in order to conduct his ministry and to bring God’s life to the world.
He therefore needed to be disciplined like any other boy. Indeed, in addition to saying ‘He was tempted as we were yet
without sin’, the Letter to the Hebrews also says ‘He learned obedience through the things that he suffered’. And like
any boy, I am sure Jesus learned that obedience over his mother’s knee having his bottom soundly spanked.”
“But that lovely Christmas hymn “Away in a Manager” suggests He was an exemplary child. ‘The little Lord Jesus no
crying He makes,’ and children are exhorted in another hymn to be ‘mild, obedient, good as He.’ That is a quite
different picture to the one you are painting.”
“Indeed it is, Mrs Colville. And that is because, affective though “Away in a Manager” may be, it is, to put not too
find a point on it, sentimental rubbish. What sort of child is it that never cries, that always obeys, and never tests
limits! It is describing some sort of a child that is not of our race at all !”
Mrs Colville looked at her husband.
“What do you think, my dear?”
“Well, I don't think I’d treat the writers of those hymns as harshly as Miss Strang. They are perhaps best understood
as exhorting children to behave well. But that said, I believe Miss Strang is broadly correct in her theology.”
“But aren’t disobedience, lying and dishonouring parents sins. And how can we say Jesus was sinless if we attribute to
him such behaviours and just regard them as inevitable in his development as a human being. Sin seems, then, to have
lost any meaning.”
“Perhaps I may answer, Mr Colville.”
“Certainly, Miss Strang.” ”
“I of course accept that disobedience, lying and dishonouring parents are obviously wrong. That is why they should be
punished by a sound spanking. But are they sins? In a child they may be, but only if such behaviour and attitudes are
wilfully persisted in after regular and firm correction. Up to that point they are better understood as having the
potential for sin, like a polyp or lesion that is not yet malignant but needs to be removed before it becomes so.
“In a child’s early development, when he is testing boundaries, he is asserting himself, not sinfully, but
experimentally. Disobedience, lying, and other behaviours are to be
both
accepted as normal
and
discouraged by punishment less they establish themselves and become truly cancerous rather than merely potentially
malignant.”
Mrs Colville frowned.
“But for a parent to decide that a behaviour has ceased to be potentially sinful and becomes truly so seems a very
difficult judgement to make.”
“Yes, it is. But it is not really a judgement that a parent needs to make. We deal with such behaviour in exactly the
same way. A child who tells his first lie should be soundly spanked and warned that in future he is to tell the truth.
If he again is caught in a lie, the spanking should be administered more firmly and given for longer. And each time,
he lies, a painful and prolonged session over his mother’s knee should follow. I have sometimes chosen to display a
notice in the schoolroom or in the child’s bedroom stating that
ANY CHILD WHO TELLS A LIE WILL BE SPANKED WITH A HAIRBRUSH ON HIS BARE BOTTOM
At no time is it necessary to agonise over whether the lie is a sin or something less than a sin. Later, when the
child has been established through firm discipline into a pattern of righteous behaviour, then any deviation may be
rightly regarded as sinning. But the severity of the parental response, when a cane or tawse should be used, is not
because it is ‘a sin’, but because the child has wilfully disregarded all that has been instilled in him. We speak of
sins, even from the beginning, and rightly so, but in truth sin is ultimately for God’s determination and judgement.
However, to return to the question, ‘Did Mary spank the growing boy, Jesus?’ I am sure she did. She is an example of
motherhood that all should follow. Just as Jesus is the pattern for children of a child who responds to discipline and
learns obedience through the things that he suffers.”