It's Not Fair

It's Not Fair - Owen

[2,440 words]

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This story is intended for adults only. It contains depictions of forced nudity, spanking, and sexual activity of preteen and young teen children for the purpose of punishment. None of the behaviors in this story should be attempted in real life, as that would be harmful and/or illegal. If you are not of legal age in your community to read or view such material, please leave now.

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Letter published in the It’s Not Fair column of the magazine Boy Stuff:

Dear It’s Not Fair,

My name is Owen and I am 14. I’ve been reading Boy Stuff for years now and I like it, but, and no offence meant, I used to usually skip passed this letter page. Most of the boys writing in make dumb comments about sports, which I don’t really care about much, or worse, moan about how they are treated at home which is really cringe. I never thought I’d be writing to you myself one day. But I never thought I’d be on Puericil either! I’ve been on it for nine months now. Being on Puericil was ok at first, even helpful, but a few things have happened lately and I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed. I don’t want to worry my Mum, so I’m writing to you instead.

I’ll try to explain real quick how I came to be on Puericil before I get to the point of my letter. I’d always been a pretty good kid. Not a try hard or teachers pet type, but I stayed out of trouble and was always polite. When my Dad left a couple of years ago I even started trying to be the man of the house to help out my Mum. Unfortunately I started to get into trouble at school around this time. I think I was tired from helping at home maybe, but each time something didn’t go my way I got more and more frustrated. I got into some fights, and acted up more, to the point where Mum got called in to school by the teachers more than once.

She didn’t get too mad to be fair, but she did take me to the family doctor because she said she was worried about the change in my behaviour. I explained about Dad leaving, and my problems at school and Dr Lewis listened and agreed that I must have had a rough time, but she seemed to think that starting puberty had probably been the main cause of my behaviour. I wasn’t sure I agreed, but I keep quiet.

You can probably guess that she recommended Puericil. I wasn’t happy about that, but like I said, I’ve always tried to be mature about stuff. Mum says I’m very mature for a boy. So I didn’t make a big deal of it. I started taking it, and or course there had to be changes at home as well. It was pretty humiliating when Dr Lewis started talking to my Mum about these changes to my routine and about stuff like how the Puericil applicator works as though I wasn’t there, especially since I was sitting there naked at the time. She had examined me to check my physical maturity levels, but for some reason I wasn’t allowed to dress again until she had finished talking to my Mum, and she took ages!

The physical part was embarrassing as you can imagine. She measured my balls with these weird cup thingies and pulled my foreskin back on my peepee, and looked at it really closely. I’m not sure what she was looking for! She asked if I ever touched it to make it feel nice. I knew what she meant. Of course I said no, even though it was a lie, because that’s embarrassing to talk about. Unfortunately I tend to blush a lot when I’m embarrassed and it gets worse if you point it out, so I’m not sure that Dr Lewis really believed me. She didn’t say if touching it is ok or not though, and I’m a little confused about that, but I’ll come back to that one later.

Overall I think I was pretty good for Dr Lewis, apart from that one little lie. And I did refuse to let her examine my bottom properly at first, although I did let her eventually after Mummy got cross and told me to stop being a baby. She touched my butthole while she examined me, and since Mum had agreed to try me on Puericil, she pushed this tube into me and squirted something cold up my butt! Of course, I know now that it’s how you take the medicine and I’m kind of used to it, but at the time I was so shocked and embarrassed I forgot how to talk for a minute! I wish we had a male family doctor as it’s very embarrassing having a lady doctor touching your butt and your parts and talking about them to your Mum like you weren’t there. I guess she’s a good doctor though. I suppose that’s the main thing.

I’m not actually writing to you to complain about any of that though. I decided to try and make the best of being on Puericil and give it a go. Not that I had any choice, but Mum always says life is what you make of it. I knew about it from your magazine. Puericil, I mean. The Doctor never said anything to me about this, but from reading Boy Stuff and looking at the box Mum keeps in her medicine cupboard, I think I am on the strong version, which I think might be a mistake. And I think that might be part of the reason for some of my problems, but I’ll get to that in a moment.

So anyway, I don’t want to be one of those cringey moaners. I will even admit that after a few weeks of taking it, I started to feel a little better. Less tired and cranky. Less stressed, and when, before I would lose my temper and then feel real bad about it, now I wasn’t really ever getting angry. The routine changes took getting used to - sometimes I feel like I’m being treated like I’m 8 not 14, which I don’t like. And some of the stuff is still embarrassing, like the applicator and the fact that Mum won’t let me bath myself anymore. At first she even insisted on supervising me using the bathroom, but I must admit I did make a big fuss about that, and so she agreed that since I was mostly being good, that she would see how letting me go on my own again worked out. Don’t get me wrong, I do appreciate the feeling that she is looking after me, and I’m not writing to you to complain about her, I just wanted to fill you in on what has led to this point.

Some of the changes are even good. I don’t have to do any real chores, except keep my room tidy (between you and me, I sometimes even forget to do that!) and I have more time now to read comics, play games or watch tv. Recently I’ve started watching some cartoon shows I used to love when I was younger. I only stopped watching them because I thought I was too old, but now I realise that I missed them, and mostly that’s all I watch now. I started sleeping with a plushie again and even slipped back into calling Mum ‘Mummy’ again, although I’m trying to stop doing that now because I’m too old and I’m worried people will think it’s weird. But overall, I was feeling pretty happy and relaxed until more recently when a few things have started to get on top of me.

I haven’t mentioned her yet, but I have a 12 year old sister who helps me too. Not that I asked for her help, but Mum says it’s too much for her to do on her own and I do understand that. So I suppose I’m grateful to my sister for helping Mum, but I don’t think she does that good a job of it, maybe because she’s too young, and that is one of the things I wanted to ask you about.

My sister helping me is a bit annoying. I get that Mum needs help, but I wish Amy (that’s my sister) would do a better job. Like, when Mummy washes me in the bath, I can’t believe I’m writing this in a letter to a magazine, but sometimes my peepee gets stiff. Mummy once told me not to worry about it, and if it happens now she doesn’t even mention it. But when Amy was washing me and it happened, she laughed at me and made a big fuss, which made me feel bad.

Also when she was helping me step out of my underwear once while the bath was running, she started going on about the fact that I’d made a wet patch in them. I know it’s Mum that has to wash them, not me, but Amy doesn’t know what it’s like having boy parts. I try to be careful to make sure I’m dry after going to the bathroom, but sometimes you put it away and more drips of pee just suddenly come out. It’s not my fault. If anything, it seems to happen even more since I’ve been on Puericil, but I could be imagining that. But what really made me feel a bit cross with Amy was that I thought she was trying to get me into trouble with Mummy, and I had already been punished once that day so I was scared Mummy would be angry thanks to Amy. In the end Mummy just shook her head at me, but didn’t punish me, but it’s still the principle of it, isn’t it? So don’t you think that Mummy should wait until Amy is older before she is allowed to help? Maybe by then I won’t even need it?

She shouldn’t be allowed to spank me at least. Not only is it embarrassing being punished by my kid sister, but she’s even not that good at it. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t like being spanked at all obviously. But at least when Mummy does it, she spanks me hard so that I know I’ve done wrong. Sometimes it makes me cry because I realise that I’ve let her down, but she always ends by cuddling me and telling me she loves me and then I feel so much better than I did before my punishment. Amy doesn’t spank as hard and seems to think it’s a game and just embarrasses me, so even if you don’t agree with my earlier point, I don’t think Amy should be allowed to punish me, that is Mummy’s job.

She’s not perfect either. She sometimes gets into trouble too, but not only do I not get to spank her, but she doesn’t even get spanked. In fact she doesn’t get punished at all, from what I can tell, just a lecture!

It’s really something else that is mainly worrying me though. Well two things, kind of. Firstly, and I couldn’t exactly find the answer to this question in my old Boy Stuff copies. Maybe people are embarrassed to talk about it. A lot of boys who write to you say they get stiffies sometimes. But they don’t say what they do about it. I’ve tried to read up on how Puericil affects this, so as not to bother my Mum with it (and to be honest it’s embarrassing to talk about) but I just got confused by all the different information. Some things said you don’t get as many on Puericil, stiffies that is, some things said you can get more. I’m not sure if I’m getting more, but I’m sure not getting less. And I don’t know if, taking care of it, if you know what I mean, is something I’m supposed to do or not. Mostly in the day, I can ignore it till it goes away, but when it happens when I wake up in the morning, sometimes it just won’t go away. And then, sometimes I do take care of it. But then I kind of feel bad that I did. I don’t know if I should stop doing this? But then what happens if it won’t “go away” at all?

Finally, I’ve saved the worst part till last. This has literally not happened to me since I was like, 5 or something, but last week I woke up and I’d wet the bed. I couldn’t even work out what had happened at first it was so strange. It was all sticky and gross and I smelled of wee! Mummy had to interrupt her morning coffee to wash all my bedding while Amy helped clean and dry me. I was so embarrassed I wanted to run away.

Now I’m afraid it will happen again. Mummy says it doesn’t matter and I couldn’t help it, but that if it happens again it might help if I wore a pull-up to bed. She’s promised to supervise this of course. Now, I’ve been pretty good about all this so far, but I’m not wearing a diaper! That is definitely not fair! I’m not a baby. Plus, you know the other thing I mentioned, if I’m in a pull up that I’m not allowed to take off myself, how do I “take care of it” when it happens in the morning?

So far it’s just something hanging over me, but I’m scared I’ll wet the bed again and end up in pull-ups. Do you think the Puericil I’m on has caused this? I’m wondering if I could get my Mum to ask the Doctor for the lower dose version, since I really don’t think I need the strong one? What do you think? If you agree, I could show your reply to Mummy and it might help convince her!

Yours,

Owen

Ps - I just read my letter back before sending, and I hope you don’t think I was too harsh on Amy. I do love her lots! It’s just sometimes when so much embarrassing stuff is happening and I feel bad that I’m getting things wrong, it’s easier to play up to her than to Mummy. And I guess I feel guilty that Amy has to give up her time to help look after me when she is so young. I wish I didn’t need so much help, but I do think I’m mature enough that I can get by with just Mummy’s help without being too much work for her. What do you think?

I also see how cringe all the stuff I wrote about getting stiffies sounded, but I’ve left it in cos I would like to know the answer, but If I’m not allowed to talk about that sort of think in Boy Stuff, please just take it out and answer the other stuff? Thanks.

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